


through a glass, darkly

by soundingsea



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-25
Updated: 2012-07-25
Packaged: 2017-11-10 18:01:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/469125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soundingsea/pseuds/soundingsea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No body, just a missed call and a closed rift and the story of a folk hero already spreading.</p>
            </blockquote>





	through a glass, darkly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [diabla616](https://archiveofourown.org/users/diabla616/gifts).



> Thanks to Spiralleds, Pukajen, and Ironchefjoe for beta-reading!

Pepper splashes water on her face, looks up into worry-hollowed eyes last seen in her mirror when Tony was missing in Afghanistan. She pads out of the master suite on bare feet; JARVIS seems to have spent the last week ensuring that every shard of glass littering their Manhattan penthouse apartment is gone. 

The streets below are not quite as tidy; the Department of Sanitation is still cleaning up metal snake spaceship parts, while SHIELD continues its damage control in the media. Time enough for Phil Coulson's family, most from Cleveland or Dallas, to plan a service here in New York where so many people knew and cared for him.

Her week? It's been major tap-dancing with the board and the shareholders; as they see it, Tony, even more than his father, was the brains of the outfit. Is. There's no was; he's come back from worse. She just has to keep things in order like she did last time, when he was missing for three months. She wishes last time were the only time. But hey, he may have come back battered, even broken, but he managed to put the pieces back together in a new order. He can do that again.

She can stand up in front of cameras and say that everything's under control, that Iron Man can take care of himself, that the best minds available are working on the rift. It's not a lie; Bruce has taken over Tony's lab in the Tower. Has been here since the fight.

Before everything went wrong, Tony apparently propositioned Bruce to come and geek out at SI. Whatever the offer was, it still makes Bruce stammer, which is saying something for Tony's powers of the inappropriate, considering Bruce's control. Pepper suspects Tony intended for Bruce to use one of the other nine R&D floors, but his personal lab has the best equipment. Now Bruce works with such grim determination that Pepper wonders if controlling the Hulk will ever again be a challenge.

Her phone beeps a reminder, and she texts an assistant to make sure Bruce is provided with something to wear for the memorial service.

Not Tony's. Never Tony's. She can't even start the process of maybe having him declared dead when they... there's nothing. No body, just a missed call and a closed rift and the story of a folk hero already spreading, much as she tries to ignore it. 

Last time was explosions and blood. Too much blood for him to have survived, the experts theorized, but he made it back then. Until she sees his body-- Pepper cuts her thoughts off there, unable to even contemplate what would come next.

* * *

Mournful chamber music fills the funeral home, minor chords resonating in tune with thunder rumbling in the distance. The room is bathed in golden light refracting through the stained glass incongruous in a secular space, designed to evoke childhood memories of warmth and safety. Phil's Portland cellist has a pixie cut, the heavy plastic glasses of a Williamsburg hipster, and an unmistakable look of regret. Pepper suspects that last is reflected in her own expression.

If only she'd taken that call, connected with Tony, buoyed him or bullied him into not doing something rash. Phone still on silent from the zoning talks before she boarded the SI jet, its vibration had been almost imperceptible, but a vague awareness of it was in the back of her mind until the chaos of the news broadcast chased it out. Only Tony, she thought wryly, would call her in the middle of a battle for the soul of midtown.

Phil's mother is crumpled in a chair, clinging to her other son's hand, and Pepper is drawn into their pain, channeling all her fear for Tony into the very real loss they are actively mourning. The scents of lilies and carnations and grief are overwhelming.

When the service ends, Pepper steps outside the funeral home, breathes deeply of air that isn't all flowers but rather the acrid familiar smell of a working city, squints at the bright late afternoon sun. There should be storm clouds to echo her mood, rain in lieu of tears; she sees a line of darkness on the western horizon. That thunder was coming from far away. 

"Rough scene in there." Natasha's voice is calm, wary. Tony's birthday, her stint as Pepper's assistant, their uneasy truce: somehow none of that seems to matter anymore.

"His poor mother," Pepper agrees, a hitch in her voice that she can't quite hide. She crosses her arms, wonders if Natasha can tell how close she is to breaking down.

"Tony's going to make it back," Natasha says quietly. "He's stronger than this."

Hearing what she's been hoping-against-reason brings traitorous tears perilously close to the surface, and Pepper smoothes her face without dabbing at her eyes.

"I've been analyzing the radiation signature from the rift," Bruce says as he joins them, and in a moment Pepper finds herself in a small cluster of Avengers (about whom she officially knows nothing). Nobody's seen Thor since he returned to Asgard with Loki, but the rest are there.

After conferring with Natasha, Clint runs interference with Fury. This is of the good, as Pepper hasn't the slightest desire to talk about a service for Tony; there's no concrete evidence that he's dead. Everyone else gave up last time; now as then, she refuses to believe it.

"I'm heading back to the lab to continue my analysis of the rift's energy," Bruce says to her. "Share a car?"

She nods. "Anyone else want to come back to Stark Tower? We can order in." Tony would probably joke that it's 100% hers now and the name should change. No way.

In the end, it's Bruce, Pepper, Natasha, and Steve who head back together, Natasha squeezed in the back seat between Steve and Pepper, Bruce making nice with the driver. Pepper is glad she doesn't need to handle directions, as the driver hears 'Stark Tower' and starts spinning his theories about how Tony's trapped in one of those metal snakes. 

Natasha distracts her by claiming Steve's taking up too much room, then cuddling half-way onto Pepper's lap, arm across the back of the seat. Apparently they're now to the point where they hug.

* * *

After some excellent Szechuan which Pepper dutifully eats but doesn't taste, Bruce heads down to Tony's lab. Steve gazes out at the rooftops of midtown, eyes unfocused, the sea of lights making no visible impression, while Natasha reaches for a crystal decanter, sniffs at the contents, and dispenses three lowball glasses of Tony's Johnny Walker Blue. The room's muted lights glint off the decanter and draw Pepper's eye to the framed photo of her and Tony, taken in Monaco. Less complicated times.

"It's my fault," Steve announces, staring pensively into his drink. "I told Tony he wasn't the guy to make the sacrifice play. Why in all hells did I say that?" He tosses back the whiskey without a wince, then sets his glass down, walks back to the floor-to-ceiling windows.

Pepper moves across the room to Steve, stops his pacing with a hand on his arm. "We all have something to regret here." She gestures, the sweep of her arm encompassing Stark Tower in its entirety. "The zoning hearings were scheduled months ago, and it's not like Tony would have attended anyway, but I left a night early. Phil drove me to LaGuardia. I could have had another night with Tony, but I didn't know."

"I'm the one who closed the rift," Natasha says. "But Steve, you were on the coms -- you heard Tony..." Her voice is near-pleading, as if she wants Steve to corroborate, but a shadow crosses Steve's face and he says nothing as she hands him his glass, refilled.

"He called me and I didn't pick up," Pepper says. "During the battle; it must have been when he was on his way up, judging by the timestamp. And I didn't notice until--"

Pepper fights back tears and mostly wins. There really is nothing else to say. Besides, her glass is empty, and Natasha is wielding the decanter like she means to get them all very, very drunk.

* * *

Tony would have loved this. Will love this, Pepper corrects herself, momentarily appalled that she's using the past tense. Not that that's why Pepper is doing it. Well, it's not exactly a conscious decision... just, after everything, she doesn't want to be alone, and it doesn't seem like Natasha or Steve do either.

It is entirely possible that Natasha is an accomplished seductress, either by nature or training. That doesn't explain, though, why Pepper is encouraging her. Most of Tony's whiskey is warming their insides, but still. She doesn't do these sorts of things, except when, apparently, she does. 

Even when he's a universe away, Tony is cajoling her into doing the unexpected. And sleeping alone in a home they meant to share is just too painful. Company and dulling her senses with whiskey and sex doesn’t seem like too bad an idea. 

God knows Tony has used both for years. 

Limbs akimbo, splayed across the couch with her clothes scattered who knows where, Pepper arches her back as Natasha trails kisses along her belly. Natasha's bare skin is creamy-pale, dotted with tiny scars and the occasional purpling bruise, and Pepper is impressed with her balance, considering that Steve is thrusting unsteadily into Natasha. 

Natasha ducks lower and Pepper can only see her mass of red hair (fire compared to Pepper's strawberry blonde), so Pepper meets Steve's gaze. Mr. Confidence is, right now, less so. Sure, the broad shoulders and square jaw are the same as ever, but he looks gobsmacked, like he's never imagined something like this. From offhand comments of Tony's, she's guessing this may be the first time he's been with a woman. Well, women. (And one of these women knows exactly how to use her tongue; damn.)

Not that Pepper has ever imagined this scenario herself either... at least, not with Steve serving as leading man.

The thought crosses Pepper's mind that JARVIS may be watching; she dismisses it as quickly as it comes, because JARVIS would never share this with anyone who isn't Tony: the kind of welcome-back present he'd never believe she put together, but would enjoy the hell out of when he sees it. If he sees it. When. 

If she's going to be in the Steve & Natasha Show, Guest-starring Pepper (and judging by Natasha's enthusiasm, this is sweeps week), then Tony simply has to come home and watch it. That's her bargain with the universe; she seals it with one last gulp of whiskey, then drops the glass to fall where it may.


End file.
